Sincerely,

      I've been teaching children in a private academy for just over six months now, just to pick up some extra work, since my hours were cut at the sanitarium (Apparently, even if they're labeled "poisonous cookies," the management gets upset if you leave them in the break room and half the staff die). I teach children ranging in age from nine to seventeen (I don't bring cookies to work. Not all the kids can read so well). It's given me a unique perspective on the collective downward spiral into insanity in which we all take part.

      For example:

      I instruct my students to read the lesson silently. One young girl stands up, holds her book in front of her, and begins reading her lesson as she spins in circles. I stop her long enough to ask her what she's doing. She shrugs and says, "I don't know." I shrug and tell her, "Okay, keep reading." She resumes spinning and reading.

      For example:

      The many times a student has erupted into an uncontrollable ten minute fit of laughter or tears for no apparent reason.

      The older students experience these less and less frequently, until we, as adults, have a strict list of times when it is acceptable to cry and laugh. Deviate too many times, and you're crazy.

      We at Susurrus wish to inform you that you are already crazy. Bipolar, obsessive-compulsive, manic, and delusional. All of the above. We, collectively and individually, eat and drink and smoke and procreate and fight. We have cycles of terrible but identical relationships. It is the willful suspension of belief. Of belief in reality. We plug our ears and say "LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU" and refuse to listen to our contradictions. When we see them, we rationalize and rationalize and rationalize.

      The only lousy thing about all of this is, we forget to spin around for no reason.

      The only lousy thing about all of this is, we don't have our occasional ten minute outbursts of hysterical laughter.

      So next time you're alone, think about spinning around until you fall down. Think about spinning around while reading a book. Or spinning around and saying "Is this your sister's sixth zither, sir?" Think about doing it with a friend. Then let me know how it went. Don't worry, I already think you're crazy. I am fine. How are you?