iFyoUsCeKay: Oi!  'Ave ya read any o' the stories, then?

abd1el: not yet
 

iFyoUsCeKay: godsdammit.
 

abd1el: i've been uber swamped at work
abd1el: i'll read em tomorrow
abd1el: promis
abd1el: e
iFyoUsCeKay: yeah, whatever.
 

iFyoUsCeKay: we seriously have five stories that I like. they're flagged. Not to mention the poem and story I've already contracted.
abd1el: are you waiting to send them contracts?

iFyoUsCeKay: I'm not sure which ones are the best. and which ones are the best for Susurrus.
abd1el: right
abd1el: well, you'll be happy to know that i've finished the new sheos
abd1el: except for the prayers
abd1el: and it's shorter
abd1el: much shorter
iFyoUsCeKay: awesome. how is it?
abd1el:  good
iFyoUsCeKay: ah.
abd1el: i like it
iFyoUsCeKay: grood.
 

abd1el: it's got lucifer
iFyoUsCeKay: AWESOME
 

abd1el: it also has sheos in korea, but i'm only gonna keep him there for maybe one more issue, then i'm on to spain, i think
iFyoUsCeKay: Do you need us to send you some prayers?
iFyoUsCeKay: have you ever got any e-mailed to you?

abd1el: i'll need some after this
iFyoUsCeKay: but you have enough for this ish?
iFyoUsCeKay: (as we in the biz call it.)

abd1el: no, but i keep gett ing  these things talking about people that have died in africa, and their bank accounts have been entrusted to me
abd1el: yeah
iFyoUsCeKay: that's really funny.
abd1el: this ish is no problem
iFyoUsCeKay: so you have a cult following? in Africa?
abd1el: apparently
iFyoUsCeKay: good job.
abd1el: did mary get to sell her car?
iFyoUsCeKay: i dunno.
abd1el: are you still chillin' with it?
iFyoUsCeKay: no, i just kept it until last monday.
abd1el: or did you get the rolls royce
iFyoUsCeKay: i decided on the Ford Tempo.
iFyoUsCeKay: I actually bought it on Halloween.
abd1el: ah, slummin' it, eh?
abd1el: cool
iFyoUsCeKay: and yeah, basically.
abd1el: so when you heading this way?
iFyoUsCeKay: Right now the focus is on graduation. I'll deal with that later. I still have an on-line class that I have to start.
abd1el: right
iFyoUsCeKay: But maybe February or March.
abd1el: HA, I AM THE FEAR OF ALL MOSQUITOES
abd1el: sorry
abd1el: yeah
abd1el: that's cool

iFyoUsCeKay: it happens.
 

abd1el: you thinking urban or rural?
iFyoUsCeKay: and the story that I've just started reading may very well be the sixth good story we've gotten. and the rap I'm listening to just referenced oedipus. Then riverdance
iFyoUsCeKay: Probably urban?
abd1el: cuz if i were you, i would steer clear of the route that adicus took and immerse yourself in urban
abd1el: suburban is shit
abd1el: i like where i'm living a billion times more than where he's at
abd1el: he seems to like where i'm at, as well
abd1el: ha
iFyoUsCeKay: ah. good.
iFyoUsCeKay: Urban it is.
abd1el: sucks i work so fuckin much
iFyoUsCeKay: yeppers.
abd1el: but anyway
abd1el: ok, i'll read those stories like a banshee
abd1el: scream 'em out in my apt
iFyoUsCeKay: awesome.
abd1el: and i'll put the finishing touches on sheos
abd1el: shouldn't be too hard
iFyoUsCeKay: coo.
abd1el: i'll send you an email tomorrow night (for me) telling you what i thought
iFyoUsCeKay: I'm going to be rushed with this issue's design, too, but I think I'll be able to pull out something good.
iFyoUsCeKay: okay. I'll check it Wednesday, November 9, 2005 (for me).
abd1el: well, just give it some thought, make it well beyond excellent, and well see what we get
abd1el: shoot for the stars!@
abd1el: you still get pretty fuckin' high
abd1el: hows artwork lookin?
iFyoUsCeKay: "If you shoot for the stars, but land on the moon, you'll".... Something. "Be stuck on the moon," I think.  
iFyoUsCeKay: Umm... I dunno.
abd1el: yeah, but you'll be dead, so it won't matter
abd1el: fucking moon-monsters
iFyoUsCeKay: that's true.
iFyoUsCeKay: So what you're saying is that it's the stars or moon-monsters. unless you just stay on earth.
abd1el: aight, i gotta get to sleep
 

 abd1el: i guess, but why stay on earth?
iFyoUsCeKay: the stars will burn you to death.
abd1el: so,what? in space no one can hear you scream
abd1el: or eat ice cream
abd1el: i wasn't really listening
iFyoUsCeKay: burned to death, moon-monsters, or earth.
iFyoUsCeKay: I'll take the moon-monsters.
abd1el: ok,
abd1el: at least you'll have a fighting chance
abd1el: i'd take the certainty
abd1el: BURN BABY, BURN!!!
iFyoUsCeKay: "If you shoot for the moon, but miss it, you'll hit a star and be burned to death." That must be it.
abd1el: "but it's better than the mediocre existance you'd recieve just keeping your ass on the planet of the damned!"
iFyoUsCeKay: ah. i always forget that bit.
abd1el: "Unless you're holding out for the zombie invasion. then you have reason."
iFyoUsCeKay: I never knew proverbs had so many qualifications and addendums.
abd1el: that's why they live so long
abd1el: they just change
abd1el: it used to be
abd1el: "reach up there and get me that apple, josh."
abd1el: it's been through a few changes since then
iFyoUsCeKay: i like the new draft better.
abd1el: seriously. josh was a douche
iFyoUsCeKay: apples are pretty good, though.
 

abd1el: true, but that doesn't change a damn thing

abd1el: we just got a new submission, i think
iFyoUsCeKay: Just a reply to a thing.
abd1el: right-o
iFyoUsCeKay: what's so right about O?
abd1el: what? orgasms rock
abd1el: i've said too much
abd1el: oh, i think i may make reference to a web-comic called sinfest
abd1el: in sheos
abd1el: you cool with that?
iFyoUsCeKay: so "right-o is" an abbreviation of "right orgasm"?
abd1el: that's what the bum under the bridge that was selling babies told me
abd1el: he was kind of twitchy though
iFyoUsCeKay: whatever. lemme know the address and I'll put a link in the letter.
abd1el: www.sinfest.net
abd1el: it's great
abd1el: but it's not a 'for sure' thing
abd1el: i'd just like to give it props
iFyoUsCeKay: haven't you heard the proverb "The bum on under the bridge that sells babies knows what's up" ?
abd1el: that's why i've been using it
iFyoUsCeKay: "Especially if he's twitchy"
abd1el: but you called it out
abd1el: bitch
iFyoUsCeKay: I think it's evolved into "look before you leap"

abd1el: oh yeah, and that's a thing here:
abd1el: while we have storks to give us babies
abd1el: people in korea get their babies from under bridges, apparently
abd1el: the bum thing was my little addition
abd1el: also, they believe (no fucking around, whole-heartedly believe) that if you sleep in a room with a closed door and an active fan that it will take away your breath
abd1el: and you will die
abd1el: s'called fan death
iFyoUsCeKay: To decide which culture has a better means of reproduction, who would win in a fight to the death?  bum vs. stork
iFyoUsCeKay: provided it wasn't in a room with a closed door and a fan.
abd1el: exactly
iFyoUsCeKay: who would you bet on?
abd1el: fuckin' bum, hands down
iFyoUsCeKay: I'm for the stork, as long as somebody could sharpen his (or her) beak.
iFyoUsCeKay: bums are twitchy.
abd1el: you're living in a dream world, man
iFyoUsCeKay: but who's to say the bum won't be preoccupied by the invisible viet-cong?
abd1el: bums are hungry
abd1el: it'd be like fight a turkey
iFyoUsCeKay: fight a turkey?
abd1el: fighting
abd1el: fuck off
iFyoUsCeKay: ah.
iFyoUsCeKay: I thought it might be a website.
abd1el: he'd want to eat it, is what i'm saying
abd1el: maybe
abd1el: i'm lost now
iFyoUsCeKay: lol
abd1el: adicus is dead
iFyoUsCeKay: that was awesome
abd1el: wassiz?
iFyoUsCeKay: i though "fight a turkey" might be some event, or a website, or something. like every year in bomont, indiana, around thanksgiving, a radio station would sponsor the "fight a turkey" contest. like bear wrestling or bullfighting or chasing a greased pig.
abd1el: GENIOUS!  we should patent it
iFyoUsCeKay: okay, Adicus the Dead just imed me. I'm going to talk to him, now. go sleep.
abd1el: spread the word about fan death
abd1el: i'd hate for him to...
abd1el: no
iFyoUsCeKay: i will. believe me.
abd1el: scratch that

iFyoUsCeKay: i did. it itched
abd1el: laters
iFyoUsCeKay: peace.

____________________________________

IBrokeBatman: word up, nickel
iFyoUsCeKay: yoyoyo.
IBrokeBatman: what up?
iFyoUsCeKay: talking to the sheos about the 'zine and fight a turkey.
IBrokeBatman: sorry, what was that?
iFyoUsCeKay: talking to the sheos about the zine and fight a turkey
IBrokeBatman: fight . . . a turkey?
iFyoUsCeKay: yeah. so i got a ford escort.
IBrokeBatman: oh yeah?  what year?
iFyoUsCeKay: 1991
IBrokeBatman: coo.  how much?
iFyoUsCeKay: $600
IBrokeBatman: not bad.  how's she run?
iFyoUsCeKay: runs well. needed a little electrical stuff. almost done, unless it's a bigger electronic problem (hope it's not)
iFyoUsCeKay: electrical, that is. not electronic.
IBrokeBatman: same thing.
iFyoUsCeKay: LIES!!!!!
IBrokeBatman: canonically speaking, that is.
iFyoUsCeKay: electronics move.
IBrokeBatman: last time i checked, my gameboy didn't do a whole lotta shaking.
iFyoUsCeKay: it does.
iFyoUsCeKay: when you're not looking.
IBrokeBatman: well, unless tetris pissed me off.  then i'm all like, "why you make me hit you baby, you know i loves you . . ."
iFyoUsCeKay: when did you get a gameboy?
IBrokeBatman: metaphorically speaking, that is.
iFyoUsCeKay: it's a metaphorical gameboy?
IBrokeBatman: well, the metaphor of the gameboy.
iFyoUsCeKay: because tetris doesn't have anything to do with arnold schwartzenegger or comic books. so i don't think you're allowed to buy it.
IBrokeBatman: wrong.  terminator games and . . . well, you got me on comic books.  
iFyoUsCeKay: but Tetris? I guess GBA has a spiderman game out now.
IBrokeBatman: do do dodo dododododododo do.  (you know how it goes)
iFyoUsCeKay: okay.
IBrokeBatman: right.   man, GBA's all like "yo yo, grandkids." it's DS bizzle.  aint no gameboy around no more.  more like gamedad and gameolderbrother.  
iFyoUsCeKay: ah. who does GBA say this to?
IBrokeBatman: uh . . . i don't know.  leave me alone.  i can use gameboy metaphors if i want.  i just watched a whole movie based on final fantasy seven and had no clue what the fuck was going on unless two people were beating the piss out of one another.
iFyoUsCeKay: sounds awesome. in Korean?
IBrokeBatman: no, japanese.  but it had english subtitles.  still no fucken clue.
iFyoUsCeKay: lol
iFyoUsCeKay: that's funnier than fight a turkey.
IBrokeBatman: it relied heavily on the assumption that you'd played the game.  why are you fighting turkeys?  are they like . . . dwarves's natural enemies?  like elves and chyckens?
iFyoUsCeKay: btw: who would win in a fight to the death, a bum or a stork?
iFyoUsCeKay: and why don't elves like chickens?
IBrokeBatman: a stork.  and you'll have to read "slacker's day off" to find out.
iFyoUsCeKay: ah. sheos said a bum.
iFyoUsCeKay: who's got Slacker's DO?
IBrokeBatman: sheos probably has the most recent draft
iFyoUsCeKay: Digression: Did you know that as of 2004, En Vogue was still a band?
iFyoUsCeKay: Does it have anything to do with pigeons and cigarette butts?
IBrokeBatman: can't . . . uh, can't say i did.  and no, nothing about pigeons.
iFyoUsCeKay: or, group. I guess they're a group, rather than a band.
IBrokeBatman: did you ever read Emergence?
iFyoUsCeKay: They're the group that did "neva gonna get it neva gonna get it, neva gonna get it neva gonna get it.

IBrokeBatman: i know that.
iFyoUsCeKay: which one was emergence?IBrokeBatman: the 2nd man in grey suit story, based on a true dream (not mine)
iFyoUsCeKay: oh. i... read a lot of it.
iFyoUsCeKay: i don't think i finished it...
IBrokeBatman: it was only like 6 pages long.
IBrokeBatman: and the end is the nosebleed part!
iFyoUsCeKay: no, i got to the part where the asian girl was next to the tomb and the guy was walking to her in the rain.
IBrokeBatman: you should go back and read it.  i need some more input other than "goddamn you" which is what sheos said.  that and telling me that it made his ears bleed battery acid.
iFyoUsCeKay: awesome.
iFyoUsCeKay: i will today then.
IBrokeBatman: rock.
IBrokeBatman: how's the magasheen coming then?
iFyoUsCeKay: got a lot of awesome stories. only have to decide which ones i want to publish. not sure about art and i'm gonna be uber-rushed to do the web design.
iFyoUsCeKay: Dear sheos is apparently almost done
IBrokeBatman: fer shame.  already letting the pressures overcome.
iFyoUsCeKay: I've delivered consistently so far.
IBrokeBatman: so far . . .
IBrokeBatman: alright, well, i'm off here.  comics, slumber, hopefully a cool dream with a big flying kiery.
iFyoUsCeKay: i know. I'm thinking about putting off the December ish until dec 15th or so, so school'll be out.
iFyoUsCeKay: and have fun.
IBrokeBatman: jepulis.  peas out.
iFyoUsCeKay: what?
iFyoUsCeKay: jepulis?
IBrokeBatman: jepulis is a finnish version of yuppers.  kinda.
iFyoUsCeKay: like fight a turkey or don't take off your pants.
iFyoUsCeKay: OH!
iFyoUsCeKay: sheos wanted me to warn you about sleeping in a closed room with a fan on.
IBrokeBatman: okay.  why?  and why wouldn't he just "warn" me himself?
iFyoUsCeKay: apparently it causes death in korea. according to him, it's called fan death.
iFyoUsCeKay: and he... i was on a quest to deliver you the message. I just saved your life!
IBrokeBatman: fan death.  mobbed by thousands of their most loyal fans, the backstreet boys were ripped to shreds and consumed, possibly as a way to conceal the carnage.
iFyoUsCeKay: oh. maybe that's what he was talking about.
IBrokeBatman: fan death.  alright.  well, he knows it FUCKING NOVEMBER and no one's supposed to be sleeping with a goddamn fan on anyway.  piss off, i'm going to bed.  wanker.
iFyoUsCeKay: i have failed due to a pune, or, play on words!
iFyoUsCeKay: lament! adicus is dead!
IBrokeBatman: jepulis.  
iFyoUsCeKay: okay. well. don't go to sleep in a closed room with a groupie. she (or he) will fuckin' kill you, man. I'm serious.
iFyoUsCeKay: It's called fan death, in korea.
IBrokeBatman: right.  i'll keep that in mind.
iFyoUsCeKay: g,night.
IBrokeBatman: g'nite.
iFyoUsCeKay: lemme bump that up.g'night.